How to Build Confidence

by Amanda Abella  - December 3, 2019

Where Did You Get This Confidence?

People Ask Me Where I Get My Confidence

Many people have inquired about my confidence and how I achieved this level of confidence. I’m excited because I feel like this is a vital topic. I’m going to demystify this whole concept of confidence and show you how to get more confidence.

Have the Confidence to Fulfill Your Dreams

Many of you have huge dreams and desires, such as starting blogs, or you may want to start a business and touch people. You want to build a business and blend the lifestyle you want with your business.

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I Am Human Just Like You

I don’t have magical powers – I am human just like you. I have the same fears and doubts and have failed a million times. I’ve experienced conditioning on a cultural and global scale. Many of these outside influences have affected me, and I have bad days.

Rejection Happens To Me Too

I commonly have others tell me no. Not as much as I used to, but I still get rejected. I do get trolls on social media – I think I’ve gotten more trolls this year than any other year. I remember when we started running Facebook ads, all these trolls began coming out of nowhere. I went from one or two trolls every once in a while to one or two trolls a day. Logically I know this is going to help my algorithm; however, I’m still human, and the comments still hurt. I deal with bullshit; however, I don’t let the negative people get in the way. I show courage, and that’s what confident people partake. We act in spite of their fears. And that’s step one. If you notice yourself getting scared, really hung up about something, dare to step out of the situation.

Confidence Equates to Emotional Maturity

When you’re confident, you don’t make a situation worse. There’s a certain level of emotional maturity that comes with the confidence and emotional skill set you need to complete the actionable items in this podcast. First step: get the emotions right, realizing you’re human, being okay with your humanness, and then choosing to step out of the situation and choosing to act.
You might be feeling scared, or you’re not feeling a hundred percent. Bounce back and realize you’ll be okay. Have self-compassion with yourself.

Taking Action is Part of Creating

Those in personal development, personal growth space, may like to spend a whole lot of time analyzing your feelings and hanging out with your inner child and visualizing, only not to take action. You may find yourself indulging in the emotions instead of having the emotional maturity to understand you feel bad today, but you’ll probably feel better tomorrow.

Build Your Confidence Muscle

Now, let’s move on to build that muscle of confidence. The main thing that builds confidence in people is when you have integrity with your words and your actions. Nothing, and I mean nothing makes confidence like doing what you say you are going to do by becoming impeccable or have integrity with your word.
The way that you have integrity with your words and your actions and the way that you become impeccable with your word is by setting your priorities. Those of you who are over-committed and overwhelmed, try looking inside, and ask yourself why am I over-committing? Why am I saying yes to everything? Then I’m overwhelmed, and then I put too much on my plate, and then I end up not showing up, or I dropped the ball, and then I spiral because I’ve just shown myself that I can’t trust myself and therefore it’s going to take a toll on my confidence.

Look Inside Yourself and Set Priorities

You have to look internally and see what is going on there. That simplicity is you have to set your priorities. I have clear priorities; money, health, and my relationships. If I’m getting all these requests for things and they don’t line up with my priorities, I say no. I’m obviously on what I’m working toward, I’m very clear on what matters to me. I say yes to what matters to me and what moves me forward, and I say no to everything else. These actions make it easy for me to show up, have integrity, and be impeccable with my word.

Reframing Failure

I’ve created many podcast episodes about my failures and how to I went through the process of reframing my failures. You learn just as much from the experiences and decisions which don’t work out as you do from the actions which work. You may take failure to heart and not ever trust yourself to make decisions again. As a result, you’re not stepping up into the vision that you have for your life because you don’t have the confidence as a result of not trusting yourself.
Access your feelings and process them – don’t indulge in them. There is a difference between processing and indulging. That’s how you build confidence.

Resources that are mentioned or add value to this episode:

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